


Green is the Color of Love

by ddelusionall



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Accidental Confession, Alternate Universe - High School, Best Friends, Coming Out, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluffy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Gay Awakening, Homophobia, Losing Gay Virginity, Love Letters, M/M, Marijuana, Masturbation, Minor Jung Yunho/Shim Changmin/Kim Jaejoong, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Sex Toys, Underage Character(s), Unrequited Love, Yoochun is So Whipped, but everything is consensual because it's high school, light bulb moment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-15
Updated: 2010-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:34:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23829940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddelusionall/pseuds/ddelusionall
Summary: Yoochun finds out that Junsu tastes like peppermint and fresh snow. He also finds out that Junsu has wanted to taste him for years. So why is he suddenly resisting?
Relationships: Kim Junsu (JYJ)/Park Yoochun





	1. First Bite

**Author's Note:**

> I am importing my stories from LiveJournal. The original fic can be found [here](http://be-ddelusionall.livejournal.com/).
> 
> I haven't read this story in a long time, so I may have missed some tags. Just let me know if I did.

**From Yoochun's POV**

Yoochun based his marijuana limit on how green the smoke looked when he exhaled. If the swirls of dank clouds were pale green, then he needed more. If they were either bright or dull green, but without a trace of white or gray, then he was in that “this is the best high ever” state. If they were neon green with 1970s tie-dye swirls then he’d had too much and it was time to smoke more until the green disappeared behind his eyelids, or it was time to stop and wait until the swirls were gray again before taking another hit.

Tonight they were swirling neon.

A peal of laughter rang to his left and he turned his whole head see what it was. Junsu’s skin was tinted neon green. His teeth were snow white. That brightness when the sun hits the snow and you wish you had sunglasses. His red red red lips closed around the blunt and he inhaled. He tried to hold the smoke in his lungs, but it puffed out in apple green laughter and he passed the joint to Jaejoong.

Jaejoong was blue. Always blue. Frozen pond pale blue with blond hair. And Changmin puffed out red swirls no matter what color the rest of the swirls were.

“This party is lame,” Changmin said again.

“It’s the class president’s party,” Jaejoong said. “What did you expect?”

“Think he’ll join us?”

“No.”

“God, I want him to. I want to see if we can get him high enough to make out with one of us.”

“Hey!” Jaejoong shouted at his boyfriend, landing a punch on his shoulder.

Changmin smiled and red streams of fiery smoke trickled up to join the green. “I think he’d look good between us, hyung.”

Jaejoong opened his mouth to protest that and his half swollen eyes went wide. “Oh my god.”

“Good idea?”

“Best idea.”

Jaejoong took one more hit from the joint and then handed it to Yoochun. Yoochun reached through neon green mud and when his fingers touched the end, they turned green, too. He took another hit and when the smoke cleared, Jaejoong and Changmin were gone. He laughed.

“What?” Junsu said, laughing too.

“Poof,” Yoochun said and made little fly away motions with his hands. “Gone. Bye bye, sucked up in the smoke.”

“Oh, bro, you are gone.”

Yoochun smiled widely at his best friend. “Yep. Very gone. Care to join me?”

Junsu smiled and took another hit from the joint. “This party sucks.”

“It’s okay right here,” Yoochun said, overly exaggerating the walk-in closet they had found more than an hour ago. When Jung Yunho announced he’d be throwing a Halloween party, no one else dared to schedule one, even if they all knew this one would be lame. Last Yoochun saw, people were bobbing for apples downstairs.

“Best party right here,” Junsu said. “No girls though.”

“And Jaejoong left. Pretty enough to be a girl.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that.”

“I’m not stupid.”

Junsu leaned forward, sun-bright smile almost right against his face. “What about me, Chunnie? Am I pretty?”

“Not enough to be a girl.”

Junsu pouted. “But I’m pretty.”

“You’re cute. Hot even, but not pretty.”

Junsu’s eyes narrowed and Yoochun tried to recall what he just said. The swirls of green slowed and Yoochun took a hit to speed them back up again.

“I think you’re hot,” Junsu said.

Yoochun laughed. “I am.”

“I mean it. Do you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“You think I’m hot.”

“Did I say that?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. I’m high.”

“So am I.”

Yoochun shut his eyes and leaned his head against the wall, but the wall wasn’t a wall, only clothes and he fell back, falling through soft lumps of chocolate before falling against the real wall.

Junsu laughed and grabbed Yoochun’s shoulder and pulled him back up.

“Come on, let’s get out of here and go find something to drink.”

Yoochun didn’t want to leave the green swirly fun-ness, but he didn’t want to leave Junsu either. “M’kay.”

They stood up, clinging onto each other as their legs wobbled and the green swirls shifted in the disturbance. Junsu almost yanked Yoochun’s cape off. Yoochun frowned down at his costume. Vampire. Supposedly. All he did was wear black jeans and a t-shirt and throw a cape over his shoulders. He didn’t even wear fake teeth. Better than Junsu’s though. Junsu claimed he was some wizarding mage, but Yoochun said he looked like a nun, and he stuck to that.

“Stupid Halloween party. Why did we even agree to come?”

“Dunno.”

“You hungry?”

Yoochun tried to figure that out. Yes, he could eat. His mouth was all dry. “I need a drink.”

“Of what?”

Yoochun smiled, and in a crappy accent said, “I want to suck your blood.”

Junsu laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed until Yoochun was laughing too and he had to hold Junsu up.

“You are such a corny, stupid bastard. You don’t even have fangs.”

“I can still bite you.”

Junsu met his eyes, and once again they were more serious than Yoochun would think, but he was too stoned to think about it properly.

“Then bite me.”

Yoochun smiled.

Junsu flipped his robe open, baring his neck. Yoochun stepped close, opened his mouth and bit down right at the base of Junsu’s neck.

He sucked hard, and Junsu moaned, hands coming up to grip Yoochun’s cape. A tiny voice in Yoochun’s head shouted at him to let him go, but Junsu tasted like cotton candy and peanut butter and green swirls. He held Junsu’s hips for support, and then decided it’d be better if he was holding him, so he put his arms around Junsu’s waist.

“Chunnie, god, Yoochun.”

Yoochun hummed because he didn’t want to let go.

“How high are you?”

“You taste like springtime.”

“So very high, okay. Stop.”

Yoochun whined. “But Su, I like how you taste.” Yoochun moved his head to the other side of Junsu’s neck and licked at his skin. The skin over there tasted like peppermint and fresh snow.

Their bodies slammed against the closed closet door. Junsu moaned. Yoochun pressed forward, trying to taste more of him and then their bodies aligned and something hard pressed into Yoochun’s thigh.

Yoochun wanted to know what that tasted like. “Mm, Su, you taste good.”

“Chunnie, stop. Stop it, please. You’re high.”

“You’re grass green and fairy blue and... “

Junsu’s hands gripped his shoulders and pushed him away. “You’re high.”

Yoochun smiled, lopsided and squinted his eyes at Junsu.

Junsu laughed and opened the closet door. Both of their smiles fell when they saw what was already in the room.

Yunho was on his knees. A tie (which looked like the Gryffindor tie from his Harry Potter costume) wrapped around his eyes. Another tie was around his wrists, securing them behind his back. Both Jaejoong and Changmin’s cocks fought for space in his mouth. Changmin smiled at them.

Jaejoong said, “You know I’ve been waiting for you two to come out of the closet. Nice hicky, Junsu.”

“I ate him,” Yoochun said with a giggle. “Sucked his blood.”

Changmin rolled his eyes. “He’s high. God, Su. How much did you two smoke after we left?”

Junsu shrugged. “I’m going to take him home and put him to bed.” He tugged on Yoochun’s arm.

“SuSu, wait, I want … I want to suck on Jaejoong. See what he tastes like.”

“Ask Yunho tomorrow.”

“Okay. But can I see what more of you tastes like?”

Changmin guffawed. “Oh, god. that’s the lamest pick up line ever.”

Yoochun frowned. “But I do. His neck tastes like springtime and snow and...”

Junsu pulled him out of the room and slammed the door. Yoochun giggled and started singing something about sunshine and snow and love and birds. Junsu supported him down the stairs. The few people still left at Yunho’s were in pairs, making out everywhere.

“Ooh, Junsu, can I see what your mouth tastes like? I bet it tastes like cinnamon and apples.”

“Maybe tomorrow, Chunnie.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah, come on.”

They walked to Junsu’s home (it wasn’t far, only about ten minutes), and Yoochun hummed as the street lights cast swirling green light over everything.

Yoochun remembered going into Junsu’s house. He remembered giggling as they snuck up the stairs. He remembered the flare of a light and then darkness.

He woke up with a headache, but warm and next to skin that he’d recognize anywhere. His arms wrapped tighter around Junsu’s waist. He did a mental catalogue of body parts and the night before and decided that he hadn’t done anything stupid. Well on his way to going back to sleep, he caught sight of a deep purple mark on Junsu’s neck. The night rushed back to him and he sat up with a shouted curse.

Junsu stirred, but Yoochun did not look at him. Had he … yes, oh, god, he could remember sucking on Junsu’s neck, licking him and that moment when Junsu’s erection had pressed against his body.

A warm hand settled on the middle of his bare back and Yoochun jumped and flipped around, eyes wide.

“Someone remembers,” Junsu said. He removed his hand and turned away, curling on his side.

Was that … disappointment?

“Su?” Yoochun said carefully.

“What?” Cold. Cryptic. Nothing like his Junsu.

Yoochun swallowed. His mouth felt like it was full of sandpaper, and only part of that was from too much chronic the night before. He realized he’d be the one to have to say it. And Junsu’s shoulders were tense, waiting for a rejection.

Did Yoochun want to reject him? What would that mean for their ten year friendship? What did that mean for his life? Would they hang out after? Was this the end of everything?

Or the beginning of everything?

Yoochun had so many questions. How long had Junsu liked him? How long had Junsu been gay? Last Yoochun knew, Junsu was going after Tiffany at school.

Then again, as his hand reached for Junsu’s bare shoulder, Yoochun had to ask himself those questions, too. His girlfriend was going to kill him.

“Su?”

“You were stoned, I get it. So was I. Leave it. It’s over.”

Yoochun frowned. He pushed Junsu’s shoulder to the bed, but Junsu still wouldn’t look at him. He struggled to roll back. Yoochun grunted when his knee landed in his side. Not on purpose. He struggled with Junsu for only a moment and then ended up straddling his waist. It wasn’t the first time he’d sat on Junsu’s stomach before.

Junsu still wouldn’t look at him.

“Su?” Yoochun said again and reached for Junsu’s face. He caressed Junsu’s cheek with his knuckles. Junsu’s eyes shut with a sigh. He turned his head and Yoochun’s fingers brushed over his lips. On the third pass, Junsu stuck the tip of his tongue out and licked a knuckle. Just that simple movement made Yoochun’s whole body shiver.

That was enough for Yoochun. He leaned down to kiss Junsu, but Junsu stopped him with hands on Yoochun’s cheeks.

“Su?” Yoochun said, this time whining.

Junsu pushed his cheeks together and smiled at the fishy face before frowning again. “That’s the fourth time you’ve said my name. Care to expand on that?”

“Isn’t it easier to let lips do the talking?”

Junsu frowned. “Don’t use that line on me, you bastard. I taught you that line.”

Yoochun turned his head and kissed one of Junsu’s palms. “Well, it works.”

He snatched his hand away. “It works on half drunk girls and freshmen. Get off me.”

“Su, what the hell? I …” Yoochun faltered.

Junsu’s eyebrow rose. “If you can’t even say it, then I’m not going to take this seriously. Get off me.”

“Sorry, Su, wait. I … I don’t know. I love you. This is weird.”

“You love me as a friend.”

“Of course, but … isn’t that what this dating thing is for? To find someone to love? Why should I keep looking when I already love you?”

“One morning, you find yourself leaning down to kiss a guy and you’re okay with that? Just like that?” Junsu demanded.

Yoochun sat back and crossed his arms. “What does that mean? You think what I tell Jaejoong and Changmin is a lie, huh? It’s not about gender, it’s about the person. I’ve always said that.”

Junsu turned his head. Yoochun reached forward and caressed the mark he left last night.

“Yes, I was high, Su.” Yoochun chuckled. “I can’t even remember the last time I was that high. Everything was green. And your smile was ten times brighter than normal. I remember loving to look at your smile last night. It’s always been the only thing that can chase away the gloom in my life.”

The side of Junsu’s mouth jerked like he wanted to smile.

“Who do I call when I need comfort, huh? Who’s bed do I know better than my own?” Yoochun risked moving and slid his knees back so he could cuddle up to Junsu’s neck. Before he could get there, Junsu’s phone buzzed on the bedside table. Junsu immediately reached for it, ruining the moment. Yoochun sighed and sat back up.

Junsu only looked at his phone for a moment before his eyes went wide and he said, “Holy Shit!”

“What?”

Junsu’s fingers flew over the keyboard on the phone. “Oh, god, you are … fuck. This is from Jae. ‘If Chun is there, show him this.’”

He turned the camera around and Yoochun’s mind took a moment to process the image of Jessica, his girlfriend Jessica, half naked kissing the star of the soccer team, Lee Donghae. He met Junsu’s eyes.

Junsu smirked. “Well?”

“Well, what? Girl’s a whore. I knew that when I started dating her. Send that to everyone in your contact list.”

“You want my mom to see this?”

Yoochun laughed. “No, you dork.”

“It’s already done. Jaejoong says he sent it to everyone at school.” He suddenly frowned.

“What?”

“You’re single now. On Monday all the girls are going to cling to you more than usual.”

Yoochun smiled. “So let’s give them a reason to not.”

“No.” Junsu pushed him away and this time, Yoochun let him. He lay on his side. Junsu sat up on the edge of the bed. He sighed and put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. Yoochun rubbed a hand up his bare back. Why hadn’t he ever noticed how sexy Junsu was?

“I can’t just proclaim this to the world, Chunnie. If my family found out that I’m … I …”

“You’ll have to tell them sooner than later.”

“Yeah, but …”

“And your mom loves me.”

Junsu turned around, eyes hard. “My mom is always asking me why I don’t bring girls home like you do. Why don’t you have a girlfriend? Yoochun has a girlfriend. What about Nicole or Sooyeong or Jaelin? Oh and Taeyon, she’s a good Christian girl. Why don’t you ask her for a date?”

Yoochun bit his lower lip. Junsu turned back around.

“So we don’t tell anyone,” Yoochun said. “I’m okay with that.”

“No. No. I … never meant for anyone to find out. Especially you. Because I know you, and you … well, you did just what I thought you’d do and you’ve made it that much more difficult … just go home, okay?”

Yoochun stared, too stunned to move, as Junsu stood up and went to his bathroom, slamming the door. His phone started ringing. Jessica’s ring tone. He ignored the call, but it got him up. He pulled on his black t-shirt from the night before. He left the vampire cape on the bed and wrote Junsu a quick note.

~~I still want to know what your mouth tastes like. You promised me, remember? Call me when you’re ready to talk~~


	2. First Love

**From Junsu's POV**

Junsu stared at the looming beast that was his high school and sighed. He sighed again and cursed and slammed his head to the steering wheel twice. Okay, four times. Five times.

He hadn’t talked to Yoochun since Friday night. Two entire days without a phone call or a text or … or anything.

Was this what he was expected to get used to? This empty space in his life where Yoochun belonged? This ache in his heart. It was his own fault. He acknowledged that. He was the one who pushed away the guy he’d been in love with since he first admitted that he was gay.

He fingered the scarf around his neck. It was daring to wear it as it wasn’t quite cold enough for one, but he’d made sure it’d gone with the outfit he wore so fewer people would ask questions. Only JaeMin and Yoochun would know what it was hiding.

Yoochun. Fuck. What the fuck was he supposed to say to Yoochun?

Part of Junsu hoped that Yoochun had thought about what he was asking for, and changed his mind and everything would go back to the way that it was. But Junsu knew better than to hope for that. His relationship with Yoochun was going to be different from now on, but what kind of different? Good different, bad different? Indifferent? Was Yoochun even going to care about him anymore?

He jumped when knuckles rapped on his window. He stared out at Jaejoong and then smiled. Jaejoong shook his head. “Hiding isn’t going to make it go away,” he shouted.

Junsu winced and nodded. Best to get it over with.

With one more deep breath, Junsu climbed out of the car.

“You’re stupid,” Jaejoong said right away.

“You said that yesterday.” Junsu had told Jaejoong about his and Yoochun’s little moment. Jaejoong was the only person who knew he was gay. Well, he used to be the only person. Jaejoong hadn’t even told Changmin.

“Nice scarf, hicky boy.”

“Shut up.”

“Yoochun misses you.”

“I miss him.”

“You’re being stupid.”

“I know.”

They walked into the school in silence. Junsu suddenly stopped and moaned.

“Go to our locker for me,” he begged of Jaejoong.

Jaejoong shook his head. “Nope. Not happening. You’re not running away from him anymore. You’ve had a weekend to think and kick yourself for not taking the opportunity when it presented itself. You have to talk to him.”

Junsu made his feet move. Just like Junsu knew he would be, Yoochun was leaning next to their locker. He stopped again and just stared at him. Stared at the angle his body from having one leg bent, foot flat on the wall. The guy had no ass what to speak of, but his shoulders and arms and stomach were toned. How many times had Junsu see his skin? He was wearing blue jeans and a bright green t-shirt. He had his phone out and a single earbud in. The other white cord dangled down his side.

Junsu noticed little things about him. The circles under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept well, and Junsu knew his eyes looked the same. His left shoe was untied. His breath stopped when he saw a black heart drawn in black ink just above his knee. Junsu had drawn it there last year during a boring history lecture. Yoochun worse those pants all the time, but today, Junsu knew they held an even greater significance. Or he hoped so.

Junsu took a step forward and then stopped again when Amber of all girls sidled up next to Yoochun and put her hand on his shoulder. Yoochun smiled at her and, to Junsu’s surprise, shrugged her hand away. He also slid away a few inches. Amber noticed, but continued to smile. Yoochun liked Amber. Yes, they had dated and broken up, but Yoochun always held her hand or kissed her cheek or stood close to her. How many other girls had he already rejected this morning?

Junsu glanced around the hall. Most of the girls were staring at Yoochun with a combination of desire, want, hope and lust in their eyes.

And Yoochun was standing alone (Amber had given up). That had to mean something, right?

_Don’t get your hopes up, Junsu._

With another sigh, he walked forward. A few feet from him, Yoochun looked and smiled widely. “Hey, Su,” he said.

Junsu’s chest hitched. It … he never knew how much he needed to hear that deep voice until it was taken away from him. A lump formed in his throat. He tried to clear it and opened his locker. His eyes stung and blurred and he tried to blink away the tears.

“Su?” Yoochun whispered.

Junsu couldn’t reply.

Yoochun sighed. “Fine, just … I’ll see you in Physics, okay?”

Junsu managed to nod. Yoochun thought he hated him. The worst part was when Yoochun walked away. Without the casual punch to Junsu’s shoulder.

_It’s your own fault._

He slammed the locker and shut his eyes, making sure he wouldn’t cry. He opened them and watched as a girl sidled up to Yoochun and put her arm around his waist. He immediately moved it and smiled at the girl before moving away from her.

_You’re being stupid._

“You’re being stupid,” Jaejoong said behind him.

Junsu ignored Jaejoong and took off at a jog down the hall. He caught up with Yoochun and walked next to him. Yoochun smiled at him, but then looked away when Junsu didn’t even lift his eyes from the floor.

“I’m not being …” Junsu tried again. “I don’t … I … I don’t know what to say.”

“Fair enough.” After another moment of silence, Yoochun said, “No matter what, Junsu. This weekend has been hell. Even if it’s just a text message, say hi to me, okay?”

Junsu nodded. “Yeah … I … I didn’t like it either.”

They arrived at Yoochun’s Calculus class first. “See you in, Physics, Su.”

“O-okay.” Junsu started to walk away.

“Oh, and Su,” Yoochun said.

Junsu met his eyes.

With a perfectly blank face, Yoochun said, “Nice scarf,” and winked.

Junsu smiled. “Bastard.”

Yoochun smiled back. “Bitch. See you later.” He punched Junsu’s shoulder.

“Yeah.”

Junsu headed down the hall. Jaejoong caught up with him a few feet later. “Better. Still stupid. But better.”

“We’ll be okay.”

“What does that mean, Junsu?”

“I … I don’t know. He … I … “

Jaejoong sighed in exasperation. “God, I wish Changmin were here right now. He hits harder than I do.”

Junsu spent his European History class strategizing. He tried having mock conversations in his head during Geometry. In English, he had to focus on the class. When he was half way to Physics, half formed English phrases in his head that he needed Yoochun’s expertise to figure out, he stopped and said, “Oh shit,” out loud and then paced back and forth in the hall until the bell was about to ring, and then he decided to just improvise and he sprinted to class. He slipped into the door just before the teacher shut it, and then quickly moved and sat next to Yoochun at their table.

Yoochun smiled at him and Junsu tried to smile back but it was more of a wince. Only two minutes into the lecture, Yoochun reached over and played with the end of his scarf. He twirled the loose fabric between his fingers.

And Junsu decided that today he was not going to pay attention. Luckily it wasn’t a lab day. He hunched over his notebook and stared at the blank lines. Very carefully, he wrote Yoochun’s name down. And then with a little smile drew a little heart next to it.

Yoochun snorted and turned it into a cough, apologizing to the teacher for disrupting the lesson.

Junsu wrote his name next to Yoochun’s and then wrote their names together, couple names like YooSu and JunChun and SuChun and YooJun. Yoochun stopped his hand and circled “YooSu”.

Junsu pouted at him and circled “JunChun”.

Yoochun smiled and then leaned his elbow on the desk and stared at Junsu. Junsu looked at the paper. And then he started writing.

_I don’t know what to say. What I said on Friday was right. I knew you’d do this. It’s how you do everything. Full steam ahead, who cares about consequences, but this is something I’ve been battling for years. Years. And yeah, I didn’t tell you because you’re the reason … no, it’s just, the way I feel about you is how I knew I was gay. That’s kind of hard, dealing with that when you’re fifteen and you’re suddenly in love with your best friend. But you, it was like, you’re straight, and then five minutes later, you’re gay. Life doesn’t work that way. At least life for normal people. I’m sure your parents won’t worry too much about it. Or your brother. Junho doesn’t even know. How do I tell him that, Chunnie? I really like you. I feel like i’ve ruined everything because we’ll never go back to how we were before and stop fucking smiling at me you creeper, i’m trying to be serious and whenever I try to open my mouth and tell you this i just freeze because i want this so much but you can’t just … you can’t just … love me like that. Have you even thought about what it entails? loving a man, I mean. Have you thought about that? Thought about sex, thought about society and thou_

Yoochun stopped his hand and with his own pencil wrote _Yes, I’ve thought about sex with you._

Junsu’s throat closed and he shut his eyes, when he was sure he wasn’t going to cry, he kept writing. _Is that all you’ve thought about? Have you thought about how to hide this. What about next year, when you’re off to Busan and I’m going to Seoul. That’s only a few months away, and how … how can you love me?_

Junsu’s pen stopped and this time he didn’t win the battle with tears. He pushed his notebook away and raised his hand and begged to be excused. Junsu was one of Professor Cho’s best students, so he looked right at him and then nodded. Junsu bolted from his seat without looking at Yoochun and then escaped from the room. He went to the nearest bathroom.

He leaned on the wall and then slid down it until he was sitting on the floor, head back, tears dripping down his cheeks. Yoochun didn’t understand how hard this was. Why wasn’t he a mess? Why wasn’t he questioning his place in life? His sanity? Why did he just get to be gay and okay?

He could hear Jaejoong telling him he was stupid again.

Yoochun had always been the most open, honest and laid back person Junsu knew. It’s one of the reasons why they got along so well. Most people couldn’t handle Junsu’s quirks. They couldn’t handle his tendency to focus on one thing so hard that nothing else mattered. They couldn’t handle it when he teased. He didn’t mean to hurt feelings, he just expected everyone to react like Yoochun did: without caring. It’s not like Yoochun just didn’t care, it’s that he understood. Yoochun had always understood him.

He’d started fantasizing about Yoochun when they were fourteen, almost six years after they first met. Junsu tried to convince himself that it was just because it was Yoochun, not because he was gay, and then Jaejoong came out during junior high. Yes, he’d been ridiculed for it. And he’d been beat up for it, but now … now, people mostly left him alone. Junsu was sure that if he’d started back then, like Jaejoong had, he’d be the same way. But with his religious family and the expectations on his shoulders, he wasn’t going to be able to do that.

The bell rang. Junsu forced himself up and went to the sink. He splashed his face with water. The scarf had come loose and the top of the deep purple mark peeked from above it. Junsu quickly rewound it. The door opened a moment later and Junsu froze. Yoochun smiled and leaned against the wall. Their eyes met through the mirror.

“I brought you your bag,” Yoochun said and set it on the floor.

“T-thanks.”

Yoochun looked conflicted and Junsu smiled. Yoochun hated it when he cried, and Junsu didn’t cry often. But Yoochun was always there to hold him. Junsu gave into temptation and made the decision for him. He walked over tand put his arms around Yoochun’s waist and his head on his shoulder and held him. Yoochun’s arms circled his back. He kissed Junsu’s head.

It really wasn’t fair how perfectly he fit with Yoochun, how almost everything about them was opposite, but the two halves made a whole and everything seemed to be perfect between them. It was only natural that Yoochun accepted this turn in his sexuality so easily when Junsu had spent years agonizing over it.

“Want to ditch the rest of the day?” Yoochun asked.

“I can’t. I have a test in Literature today.”

“Right. Okay.”

But Junsu didn’t let him go.

Yoochun chuckled and rubbed his back.

“I’m sorry, Yoochun.”

“Me, too, I guess … let’s talk about it later, okay?”

“Yeah.”

Yoochun pulled away. He smiled and reached up. He straightened Junsu’s scarf. Junsu shivered when his fingertips brushed over skin. They broke apart, sort of awkward again. Junsu hefted his bag to his shoulders. Yoochun held out his hand. They always held hands. Junsu stared at it for a little while and then took it. If he wanted things to be as normal as possible, then he would hold Yoochun’s hand.

The feel of Yoochun’s skin on his hand tingled long after Yoochun let him go in front of his class. Yoochun’s little smile distracted him from his test. Afterward, Junsu opened his backpack for his books. A piece of paper sat on top of everything and Junsu pulled it out. It had his name on it, Yoochun’s handwriting. He opened it and barely suppressed a gasp.

**How I Can Love Kim Junsu by Park Yoochun**  
_1\. You’re green. You’re everything that’s fresh and new and clean in the world. You’re a new plant reaching and striving to grow. You’re the spring sun throwing warmth over a world, my world that’s been so cold. There’s a reason why I’m wearing a green shirt today.  
2\. You’re laughter and smiles (even if you do laugh really loud and it’s even worse when you’re stoned, really, if i wasn’t always stoned right next to you, I think it would bother me). You make me laugh and smile. You chase away my demons and you take care of me when i drink too much.  
3\. You’re learning, and I’m learning, and maybe, if you’ll let it, it will be we’re learning. I found out this weekend that I don’t know everything about you like I thought I did. That’s unacceptable. Since I’m determined to love all of you, I’m going to find out about all of you, whether you like it or not.  
4\. You’re the cold tang of fluffy snow. That first snow, the one where everyone is happy to see it (and you’re not the annoying mid february snow where you can’t wait for it to go away. That’s changmin) You’re that first mouthful that you take. The one that burns on your tongue and yet still tastes sweet. You’re the first snowball, grabbed with no gloves on and your hands go numb. You make me numb Junsu because I can’t think of anything else sometimes when I’m around you and I don’t really care. If I think of nothing else but you for the rest of my life, I’ll die a happy man  
5\. You’re mine. Cheesy as that sounds, but we’ve been inseparable for how many years now? I would tattoo your name on my body somewhere and never regret it. Above my heart since tattooing it on my heart would probably kill me  
6\. You’re my heart. I smile more when I’m with you. My heart beats faster. My heart feels … complete. That’s really corny, but this weekend I felt like there was a giant gaping hole through my body right where my heart was supposed to be. I missed you.  
I can’t think of anything else that’s all romantic and shit right now and class is about to end. But know that I love you. I love you and you’re my best friend and I know you are in a bathroom right now, crying and second-guessing yourself and second-guessing this, and you’re wondering why I’m okay with all of this when it’s going to completely disrupt my life. I’m okay with it because it’s you. I love you, SuSu. To me, this … us … makes perfect sense. I will wait until you realize it too._

_I’m ditching with Jaejoong. He’s going to give me a few pointers. Come to my house after soccer practice, okay? Please. And no, not for sex. So we can talk._

Junsu cried for the second time that day, but when Mrs. Lee asked if he needed to leave, he wiped his eyes and said no. He was okay. He was perfectly okay.


	3. First Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoochun finds out that Junsu tastes like peppermint and fresh snow. He also finds out that Junsu has wanted to taste him for years. So why is he suddenly resisting?

**From Yoochun's POV**

Yoochun was nervous. Not like … nervous, nervous. Just a little anxious. Junsu had sent him a text saying that yes, he would come over to talk. He paced his room. Jaejoong lounged on his bed, rolling his eyes every two minutes.

“Would you calm down? Junsu isn’t stupid enough to say no to you.”

“What if he does?”

“He won’t.”

“What if he does?”

“Oh my god, I am going to leave if you keep asking me that. He won’t. Now sit the fuck down.”

Yoochun sat in his desk chair and put his head in his hands. “What if he’s right, Jae? What if I can’t do this? What if my family freaks out, what if I break his heart and everything falls apart and we lose each other?”

“Then you’re both stupid. Now are you going to listen to me, or what?”

Yoochun sighed. “Fine, talk.”

“Okay, first off. Sex.”

“Jae, don’t.” Yoochun shut his eyes. “I … If we talk about it, I’m going to jump Junsu as soon as he walks in the door, and I told him we were going to talk.”

“So you want to have sex with him?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for two days, kicking myself in the ass for not noticing how gorgeous he is. I mean, he’s always been attractive but now he’s …” Yoochun waved his hand in the air.

Jaejoong smirked. “Yeah, I know, but--” He broke off with a sigh. “Junsu is going to kill me for telling you this. He won’t admit it, at least not to me, but the main reason he’s so worried is that he’s a virgin.”

Yoochun blinked. “And? I already knew that. He would have told me if he’d had sex.”

“Really? Would he? You’re both so stupid.”

“We’re best friends. He would have.”

“Junsu is gay, Chunnie. Do you honestly think he would have told you about having sex? You would have wanted to know who it was with and you would have wanted to know details, and you think he’s going to give you gay sex details when he’s trying to hide that from you?”

“Point.”

“He’s only had one boyfriend. An older guy that he met in the city, and well … he hurt him. Bad.”

Yoochun sat up quickly and stared. “What?”

Jaejoong shrugged. “Junsu made me promise not to tell you, because you didn’t know he was gay and …”

Yoochun held up his hand. “A year ago, when he had that black eye and those bruises on his chest. He said he got in fight with Junho.”

Jaejoong nodded. “Yeah. Junsu refused to have sex with him, because he was so in love with you and the guy … well, yeah, I’m not going to say anymore than that, okay, he’s already going to kill me for saying that, but don’t pressure him. At all. Don’t even do the Yoochun thing.”

“The Yoochun thing? What is that?” he asked.

“The greasy pick up line, give them a smile, hum them a tune in their ear and then try to move in for a kiss.”

“Oh. I do that, don’t I?” Yoochun thought back to Junsu’s reactions to his note about sex in class.

“Yeah, you do. You’re good at it. That smile of yours gets you laid a lot, but it won’t work with Junsu. First of all, because he’s used to it, and he’s seen you do it, and it’ll hurt him because you’re ‘pulling a move’ on him. It’ll only make him more distrustful of your advances. Junsu’s been hit on a lot the last couple years. When we go to clubs and stuff in the city. Men love to dance with him.”

Something close to red hot fury ran through Yoochun as he thought of some other guy dancing with Junsu. Yoochun had seen Junsu dance, but now he wondered what it was like to dance with that body pressed against his.

“Junsu is my best friend,” Yoochun said. “This is his decision, because I’ve already made mine. I want to be with him. He knows that. And I would never hurt him, ever.”

Jaejoong grinned. “Good. Now. Sex.”

“Jaejoong.”

“No, I am going to have this talk with you because you’ve only been gay for three days. You do realize that guys don’t have the wonderful ability to naturally lubricate their sex holes like girls do? Use lube. Do you have lube?”

“Of course I have lube, and sex holes? Really, Jaejoong.”

Jaejoong smiled. “Well, ass holes just sounds so dirty.”

Yoochun laughed. “Yeah, it does. And I do I know that sex holes don’t naturally lubricate like a girl’s does. I do play with myself, you know.”

Jaejoong’s lips spread in a slow smirk. “No, I did not know, but that is very interesting.”

Yoochun rolled his eyes again. “God, would you stop? You want me to be even more explicit?”

Jaejoong nodded. “Fuck yes.”

Laughing, Yoochun stood up and suddenly tackled Jaejoong to the bed. His fingers dug into Jaejoong’s sides until Jaejoong was laughing and gasping and begging for him to stop. “Yes, Jaejoong, these fingers torturing your body have been in my ass, lubed up and moving in and out of me. Three of them even.”

Jaejoong finally used his strength and pushed Yoochun off him. “You fucking pervert.”

Yoochun shoved him with his foot. “I dare you not to think about it the next time Changmin has his fingers inside you. Or is that Yunho’s job now?”

Jaejoong sighed,and his smile fell.

Yoochun nudged him again. “Troubles in threesome with the class president paradise?”

“He’s having second thoughts.”

“I’m sure Changmin can fuck those away.”

Jaejoong stood up. “Fuck you. I’m getting out of here. I told Min I’d cook him dinner tonight. Just remember the lube thing. Oh, and Junsu is a bottom, no if ands or … butts, about that.” Jae laughed at his own joke. “So as much as you love your fingers in you, Junsu probably won’t ever top you.”

Yoochun shrugged. “That’s okay. I have a dildo.”

Jaejoong’s eyes bugged. “What? Since when?”

“I bought one last year.”

“What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“Because you would start fantasizing about me and that’s not fair to Changmin.”

“Fuck off, you arrogant bastard, so now what? Are you gay, or aren’t you? Are you only gay for Junsu? I’m so confused.”

“Jae, come on. I tell you all the time. Being gay isn’t dictated by what you like to put in your ass.”

“Actually that’s exactly what it’s dictated by.”

“No, it’s not. Not to me. To me, you’re not gay. You’re Jaejoong. Changmin is Changmin. Junsu is Junsu. What society deems as your sexual orientation does not dictate who you are to me. I tell you and Min all the time that gender doesn’t matter. I told Junsu that. I’ve always believed that, but I hadn’t ever wanted to date a guy because I compared them all to Junsu. I wanted to date Junsu, or at least, find a guy like Junsu. And I’ll let you on in a secret. When I first started messing around, experimenting with myself, I always wanted Junsu there to help, but I figured he would have freaked out about it.”

Jae opened his mouth and then shook his head. “Yep. You’re both stupid.”

Yoochun threw a pillow at him.

“Call me later,” Jae said and threw it back. He left the room.

Yoochun put it behind his head. He sat there, arms above his head thinking of Junsu and the information Jaejoong had given him. How dare that man hurt his Junsu? How dare he! One day, Yoochun was going to get Junsu to tell him who it was and he was going to go cut off the guy’s dick. No one hurt his Junsu. No one.

_Except for you. Maybe._

Yoochun sighed. He did not want to hurt Junsu, at all. Junsu was afraid of Yoochun breaking his heart. But now that he’d had time to think about it, it made so much sense to him. He’d always loved Junsu. Junsu was the first person he wanted to talk to in the morning. Junsu was always the first person he called when he had news. Being attracted to Junsu hadn’t ever crossed his mind. Not until he’d seen that mark on his neck and knew he’d put it there. It was like Junsu was finally all his. All of him.

He looked at his clock. God, three more hours. Three more …

“Fuck it.”

He had a feeling that as soon as he saw Junsu he was going to jump him anyway, and the thought of Junsu below him, skin sweaty, hair plastered to his face as Yoochun took his virginity was making it hard to think. And it was making something else hard.

Yoochun made sure his door was locked and then ripped his clothes off, eager to be naked while thoughts of Junsu filtered through his mind. After only two strokes, he was rock-hard and precome pearled from the tip of his dick. He moaned as he spread it around the head with his thumb, pushing into the slit. He’d seen Junsu naked, fuck, they’d even showered together before. But beyond admiring Junsu’s ass, he hadn’t really thought about anything else. Now he did. He wondered what his skin felt like, what his skin tasted like. He wondered how those hips would move against him.

“Oh, god,” Yoochun moaned and stroked his cock. So Junsu was a bottom, but it’s not like Junsu wouldn’t ever finger him. Yoochun was sure that if said he wanted Junsu to, the other would. And he wanted him to so much.

Too blown to reach for lube, Yoochun sucked on his finger, covering it with spit as his other hand continued to fly over his dick. It was quick and easy to orgasm thinking of Junsu. He’d found out that this weekend. He couldn’t remember how many times he’d jerked off the last two days to thoughts of Junsu’s body. He’d fucked girls in the ass before, so it was easy to imagine what it would look like with Junsu’s plump ass under him. Yoochun slipped his finger inside himself as he thought of Junsu on his knees, head lowered to the bed. And it was Junsu’s ass he was preparing. Junsu’s body quivering and his moans filling the room.

His orgasm rushed through him and Yoochun finger-fucked himself faster even as his hand slowed down. He drew out that moment before orgasm, that moment of painful anticipation and then it shattered with a loud cry and warm come covered Yoochun’s stomach and hand. He lowered his legs and let his finger slip from his body.

Yoochun sighed and brought his hand to his mouth. He licked his fingers, only wincing a tiny bit. He wanted to get used to that taste because he was definitely planning on sucking on Junsu’s dick until the guy came. Now that was something he hadn’t done, even with his dildo. He thought for a moment about taking it out and trying it out, but decided not to. The first time he had a cock in his mouth, he wanted it to be Junsu’s, not some silicon fake thing.

He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and then stood up. His knees shook. The last two days of jerking off thinking of Junsu made walking almost impossible afterward. He staggered to his bathroom to shower. He showered quickly because thinking of Junsu in the shower would have caused another problem to be taken care of.

He dried off and then stood in front of his closet, wondering what to wear. Yes, it was just Junsu, but should he dress up since he was trying to make an impression? Naw, Junsu would see right through that. He thought of wearing just sweats, like he normally would, but again, Junsu may have taken that as something sexual. Yoochun sighed and for the lack of any better ideas, just put on the same outfit he’d worn to school. These were his “I love Junsu” jeans anyway. Besides, Junsu didn’t need to know that Yoochun had just jerked off thinking about fingering him and had to take a shower to clean up.

Trying to keep his mind off of Junsu, he pulled out his calculus homework, but calculus was too boring. He wrote Junsu’s name in the margins complete with hearts and wrote stupid equations like Yoochun+Junsu = Love. It was silly, but true. He put his head on his math book and sighed. He really hoped Junsu would … would be his boyfriend? say yes? kiss him … what did all this mean?

Yoochun growled in frustration and stood up. He paced again, and went back to thinking about what Jaejoong had so easily discounted. Junsu’s text hadn’t been … excited, there was no smiley face. Nothing. Just a “yes, I’ll come over to talk to you”, but that could be bad, right? Junsu could say that he wasn’t willing to risk everything.

Was Yoochun?

Yoochun nodded. Yes. He was. He would do anything for Junsu.

He put his face in his hands. “Oh, god, what if he doesn’t want me?” he whispered out loud.

He dropped heavily to the floor and crossed his legs and rocked back and forth. His heart couldn’t handle it if Junsu didn’t want him. Junsu was him, was his heart and everything he needed.

True, he hadn’t figured that out until Saturday morning, but better late than never. Junsu meant the world to him.

He looked at his clock. Another hour. He was not going to survive another hour like this. He reached under his mattress and found the little baggie full of green relief. He pulled his calculus book off his desk. At least it would be of some use today. He leaned on his bed, cross legged, the book propped up on his knees. He took out a bud and broke it up, separating out a few stems and seeds from the leaves. Carefully, he peeled off the next paper, making sure not to tear it. He curled it around his finger and then piled the weed in the trough. As soon as he was sure he had enough to get him pleasantly buzzed enough to be able to deal with this mess of emotions, he rolled it up, licked the sticky strip and pressed it tight. He twisted the ends and then set the book on the floor.

He fished his lighter out of his pocket, put the blunt between his lips and lit it. Smoking weed wouldn’t stop him from thinking of Junsu (a little hard when the first person he ever got high with was Junsu), but at least he’d be artificially happy while he was thinking of all the ways Junsu could break his heart.


	4. First Kiss

**From Junsu's POV**

Junsu skipped a shower. He ran to the locker room, grabbed his stuff and then ran out, barely saying goodbye to the rest of the team. Half way to Yoochun’s he sent him a text saying he was on his way.

 **From: CheezChun**  
im in my room ….... ;)

 **From: CheezChun**  
no one is hom …........ ;)

 **From: CheezChun**  
things are getting steamy smoky …..... ;)

Junsu stopped and sighed. Typical Yoochun. Fucker was high.

 **From: BubbleSu**  
some days I hate you

He wondered if he should even bother going to Yoochun’s now. He didn’t want to talk to a stoned Yoochun. He loved stoned Yoochun, but this was important. Yoochun was once again showing his complete disregard for--His phone beeped.

 **From: CheezChun**  
all days i love you

Junsu smiled at his phone and started walking. He’d at least go make sure Yoochun wasn’t drunk. They could talk a different day.

Junsu tried not to think on his way there. He’d been so happy for the rest of school, even the guys on the team wondered who’d he’d gotten a blow job from because he’d been smiling so much. He had to remind himself that this wasn’t the end. That Yoochun … that Yoochun what? Did Yoochun really care about him? Really love him? Or was that the weed talking?

He let himself into Yoochun’s house, re-locking the door behind him. He took his shoes off and set his bag down before heading up the stairs. As he came close to Yoochun’s door, the smell of weed permeated the hallway. He tried the knob, but it was locked, so he knocked four times, and then two times, and then four times, and then three times.

Giggles sounded through the door. “What’s the password?”

“Yoochun, open the door.”

“Password.”

Yoochun hadn’t asked for a password since junior high. It was cute, and Junsu smiled and shook his head. “I don’t remember the password,” Junsu lied.

The door swung open. Junsu looked down. Yoochun was lying on his bed, his head hanging off the end of it. He still gripped the door knob, so Junsu only saw a sliver into the room.

Yoochun pouted. “You don’t remember?”

Junsu forcibly entered the room. Yoochun pouted as he shut the door. Junsu moved into the room, aware of Yoochun’s eyes watching him. Junsu was mad, yes, but knowing Yoochun, Junsu should have seen it coming. Yoochun always smoked weed when he was stressed out.

He went to sit at Yoochun’s desk and stopped in surprise. Seeing Yoochun’s calculus notebook, he let out a burst of laughter. Lightly, he traced their names and the hearts Yoochun had drawn. He smiled, shook his head and then went back to the end of the bed and sat on the floor. He leaned his head on the edge of bed so their heads were next to each other. Yoochun pondered him upside down and then shrugged. He took a hit off the smoldering joint in his hands. He blew the smoke up and then held the joint up. Junsu sighed, but wrapped his finger tips around it and took a hit from it.

“Grandutislaformitch,” Junsu said.

Yoochun laughed and shoved him. “You do remember, bitch, don’t scare me like that.”

“Why are you high?” Junsu said even as he took another hit. “We’re supposed to be talking.”

Yoochun frowned and reached for the joint. He stared at it before puffing on it. “Yeah, I know, but I … I was freaking myself out. Like really. Like hair pulling, pacing, doubting freaking out. Sort of like how you are all the time.”

Junsu scoffed and then said, “And?”

“And what?” Yoochun asked while trying to hold in a hit.

“And what did you decide?”

Yoochun turned on his side so he was facing Junsu. Junsu kept his face away and blew out a cloud of smoke. “I made my decision. I was freaking out about what you would decide.”

Junsu didn’t answer. They each took a couple more hits and then Yoochun killed the roach. The weed was fogging Junsu’s brain up, just like it always did. It felt nice. The end of Yoochun’s bed felt nice. The fingers running through his hair felt nice.

“God, this is creeper bud,” Junsu said, slightly slurred.

“A little. You’re just a light weight.”

Junsu moaned and curled toward Yoochun’s voice, but he was upside down and their faces were pressed together oddly and Junsu wanted to cuddle. He moaned as he forced his body up and slid onto Yoochun’s bed until he was sprawled diagonally across it. Yoochun shifted and then lay next to him and Junsu buried himself into Yoochun’s chest. Yoochun’s arm draped around his middle.

“I’m scared, Chunnie,” Junsu whispered. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“Me, too. But losing you is not an option.”

“I … lo … I love you, Chunnie,” he said, bold because of the weed, but still so terrified that he’d laugh, he’d hurt him, he’d run away.

“I love you, too, Su. Always will. I always have.”

They lay in silence. Junsu’s mind was swimming toward sleeping and then Yoochun laughed.

“What?”

“You stink. You didn’t shower?”

“No, I wanted to get here. If I had known you were high, I would have showered first.”

“Go shower.”

“No. Your punishment for being high when we’re supposed to be talking is having to smell me.”

Yoochun nuzzled his hair and said, “Not much of a punishment. You’re all sweaty and sexy in your soccer uniform. I like it.”

Junsu smiled and rolled onto his back. Yoochun propped up on an elbow. They both smiled and then the moment was broken when Yoochun yawned.

“Go on,” he said, “I’ll go find us some kimchi to snack on.”

Junsu’s stomach chose that moment to grumble loudly.

Yoochun laughed. “Okay, let’s go out. I’m buying.”

“It’s a school night,” Junsu moaned, even as he sat up. His body felt like water.

“And I’m buying.”

“Fine. I’m going to go shower.”

“Want some--” Yoochun didn’t finish and Junsu turned to face him. He pouted.

“What?” Yoochun asked, fingers fiddling with a pillowcase.

“You stopped.”

“Stopped?”

Junsu rolled his eyes. “You stopped with the corny ‘want some help in the shower’ pick up line.”

Yoochun shrugged and still wouldn’t meet his eyes. “And?”

“That’s weird. Why did you stop?” Junsu turned around so he was kneeling on the very edge of the bed, his feet dangling from the side. He swayed, the feeling of water sloshing through his muscles intensified and he put his hands down on the bed to stop the feeling of imbalance. And that put him that much closer to Yoochun’s face. “Why did you stop?”

“I just … I want another hit.”

Junsu smiled. “Sorry. You’re not hiding behind it now. Tell me why?” His waving body surged him closer. “Don’t you want to see me naked, Chunnie? Touch my skin.”

Yoochun shut his eyes and nodded. “Yes, god yes, but Jaejoong said …”

“What did Jaejoong say?”

“Not to make jokes, not to hit on you, not to … you know, be me and shit, because then I thought about it and he’s right. I don’t want you to think it’s about sex, Su.”

Junsu’s smile widened. “It’s not about sex?”

“No!” Yoochun bit his lower lip. “I don’t want you to think that’s all I want.”

“What do you want?”

Yoochun looked up and their eyes met. “I want you. I want my Junsu.”

“Did Jaejoong tell you to say that too?”

“No.”

“What else did he tell you?”

Yoochun frowned and opened his mouth, and then closed it. “Um, later?”

“That bad?”

“Good, too. He told me how he takes you dancing with him and Changmin and something about you dancing with other guys that I have the sudden urge to beat up.”

Junsu laughed and fell into Yoochun’s body, face at his side. Yoochun’s arm rose and settled over his shoulder, fingers trailing along his lower back.

“I want to dance with you.”

“I want to shower with you. Come on.”

Junsu bounced up, water solidifying in his skin as his feet hit the floor. He heard Yoochun slowly get up behind him. He lifted his soccer shirt and the tank top underneath it over his head at once.

“Junsu?”

Junsu smirked over his shoulder. “Come on, bastard. Come and help get me clean so you can take me out to dinner like a proper boyfriend.”

“Boyfriends now? That was quick.”

Junsu shrugged, entering the bathroom. “What? It’s going to happen eventually. Like tonight or tomorrow or the next day. I just have to listen to Jaejoong a little. And stop being stupid.”

Their eyes met through the mirror. Junsu swallowed. Yoochun had taken his shirt off. For the first time, he obviously let his gaze trace over his body. No more furtive looks. No more glimpses here and there. He felt his cheeks heat as Yoochun slowly smiled and moved in behind him.

“You know, I love what weed does to you.” Yoochun molded his body against Junsu’s back, arms wrapping around his waist.

Junsu’s breath caught at the feel of skin on skin. It wasn’t the first time, but it was different. “What does weed do to me?”

“Makes you bolder, braver. Well, I guess I should say it tears down the inhibitions you have about yourself and the real you, the bold you, the brave you, the honest you, comes crashing out and I love that you.”

Yoochun tightened his hold and buried his face in Junsu’s neck. Junsu lifted his hands and gripped Yoochun’s arms

Junsu stared at them in the mirror. Stared at Yoochun’s arms around him. It was what he wanted for so long. Jaejoong was right; he’d be stupid to let this go because Junsu was afraid it wasn’t real, afraid it was going to fall apart, afraid he’d lose everything.

“I don’t really need a shower,” Yoochun mumbled into Junsu’s neck. “Already took one. So I’m going to let you shower and I’m going to go back to bed and try to refrain from imagining you in the shower and then we’re going to go out.”

Junsu turned in his arms and frowned. “Chunnie, but I …”

Yoochun smiled. “I know. Me, too. But if I shower with you right now, and get to touch you--” He ran his hands over Junsu’s arms--”we’ll never make it to dinner.”

“That’s okay,” Junsu said and his cheeks turned red again as he said, “I’m only hungry for you anyway.”

Yoochun laughed. “That sounds like something I would say.”

“I learned from the best.”

Yoochun touched Junsu’s cheek. “Can I kiss you now?”

Junsu blushed and looked down. He nodded and said, “If you don’t, I think I’ll hurt you.”

Yoochun moved closer. The edge of the sink dug into Junsu’s ass as their bodies melted. Yoochun’s fingers tightened on his chin and brought his head up. Junsu’s heart stopped and his eyes fluttered as Yoochun’s breath puffed over his lips. He parted his lips and then moaned as Yoochun stopped moving, just there.

“God, I hate you, you fucking tease,” Junsu said. He gripped the top of Yoochun’s jeans, slid their bodies together and then closed the distance between their lips.

Yoochun moaned first, mouth opening. He wrapped his arms around Junsu’s waist as their tongues touched. The lightheaded feeling compounded and Junsu knew that it was only partially because he was stoned. His fingertips burned on Yoochun’s skin. His lips were on fire, too. He didn’t even want to think about how hot his body was. How hot Yoochun’s body was. Their kiss slowed from frantic _oh my god, finally_ to insistent _oh my god, don’t stop_.

“Su?” Yoochun said.

Junsu didn’t answer and kept their lips together and his eyes shut and his arms around Yoochun’s waist and their bodies pressed together. He didn’t try to hide his erection, moaning as Yoochun shifted and his thigh pressed against him.

Yoochun had to cup Junsu’s cheeks and yank himself away from his lips.

Junsu frowned. “Bastard. Kiss me.”

Yoochun laughed. “Bitch,” he whispered and kissed him, softly, no tongue and Junsu’s fingers wrapped around his wrists as he tried to get Yoochun to speed up.

“Shower fast,” Yoochun said, and his body heat was gone. The bathroom door shut and Junsu whimpered as his lips tingled.

“Damn you!” Junsu shouted. He took a steadying breath and decided that if he showered fast enough, he could stroke off too.

“Don’t come in my shower, bitch,” Yoochun shouted.

Junsu smiled and slipped off the rest of his clothes. He turned the shower on and got in quickly. He had time to stroke off. His cock was already so hard. After a cursory drench, water head to toe, Junsu grabbed the conditioner. He squeezed some into his palm and brought it up to his face. He loved the way Yoochun’s hair smelled.

After setting the bottle down, he gripped his cock, moaning as the slick substance made him ache. He kept one arm on the wall next to his head for support. It wouldn’t take long, Junsu could already feel his orgasm right there. Kissing Yoochun, finally feeling his body and his erection pressed against his own was enough. But he had to be quick. Risking falling over, Junsu brought his other hand down. He turned his body slightly to keep the water from washing away the conditioner. He slowed the strokes nly long enough to swipe two fingers over his cock. Slipping that hand around his waist, he teased the curve of his ass first, just for a moment. His eyes fell shut as his cock pulsed.

He imagined himself on his back, his legs in the air, Yoochun’s fingers inside him and then pushed both fingers deep. He moaned, louder, and gasped out what sounded like Yoochun’s name. His hands settled into a quick rhythm and he almost fell over as the pleasure became too much and he shouted out again and covered the wall in come. Junsu sighed as the pressure in his head from the orgasm combined with the lightness from the weed. One of the best feelings ever. He wondered how strong this post-coital, dancing with faeries, high would be when it was actually Yoochun giving it to him. Junsu thought about it and decided that it might just kill him.

He finished his shower and then stepped out to dry off. In the foggy mirror was a huge heart with his and Yoochun’s name written inside.

“Corny bastard,” Junsu muttered as his heart swelled. He quickly dried off and then wrapped the towel around his waist and went back to Yoochun’s room. He was on his bed, arms above his head, staring at the ceiling. Feeling evil, Junsu took off the towel and tossed it over his head.

“Yah, Junsu!”

Junsu turned around and rummaged in Yoochun’s drawers.

“What was …”

Yoochun trailed off and Junsu felt heat slide over his skin. He must have looked the sight. Naked, slightly bent over. He tried not to think about it. He found a pair of dark green boxers and quickly slipped them on.

“You’re gorgeous,” Yoochun whispered behind him.

Junsu’s blush deepened. “You’re a sweet talker.”

“You jerked off in my shower.”

“Not the first time.”

Yoochun scoffed. “What?”

Junsu laughed. He pulled out a pair of black jeans. Yoochun was a little skinnier than Junsu was, but that just meant the jeans would be tighter. They accentuated his ass and Junsu felt Yoochun’s eyes on him. He pouted (totally fake) and ran his hands over his ass.

“Are these okay?” he asked, turning his head. He fought back another laugh.

Yoochun was practically drooling, eyes glazed over, tongue darting out to lick at his lips as his eyes were trained on Junsu’s ass.

“Chunnie.”

Yoochun’s gaze flipped up to Junsu’s eyes and Junsu deepened his pout. “They don’t look good, do they?” He started taking them off and Yoochun jumped up and stopped him with arms around his waist.

“No, leave them on. Keep them. God, damn, have you seen your ass, Junsu?”

Junsu laughed. “Yes, I have. Do you like it?”

Yoochun’s hands dropped to the topic of discussion and squeezed. “Yes, god, yes.”

Their lips met in another kiss and Junsu wondered if it would be a bad thing if they skipped dinner.

“God, I want to throw you into my bed, Su. At the same time, I don’t. I want you, but I want this more. I don’t want to pressure you and I don’t want to fuck this up and Jaejoong says you’re still a virgin, so I definitely don’t want to fuck this up, but god, just thinking of you in the shower and then seeing you get dressed, it’s like the worst form of torture.”

Junsu smiled against his lips and nodded. “I know. But …” He pulled away and rested their foreheads together. “I don’t want to sound like I’m doubting you, Chunnie, but this … this isn’t exactly a conventional relationship.”

“I know.” They kissed once, twice, a third time, and then Yoochun pulled away. Completely away. “Hurry up and get dressed. If I stay in this room with you any longer, I’m going to jump you. I’ll see you downstairs.”

Yoochun turned around and left the room. Junsu found a burgundy shirt in Yoochun’s closet that he was sure was his.

Junsu smiled, happier than he ever had been. He’d always thought that Yoochun would do what Yoochun always did and just gone full throttle and thrown him into bed, but now, Junsu was about to get romanced and being romanced by Yoochun was always something to be desired. Or so the girls always said.

He turned to the next page in Yoochun’s calculus notebook and wrote, “My heart is yours forever. My body is yours when you want to take it. I love you.”


	5. First Love

**From Yoochun's POV**

“Come on, Hwannie. I’ll give you twenty dollars. Twenty. Please.”

Yoohwan stared at his brother and said, “Only if you tell me why.”

“I can’t tell you why, please. Just … please.”

He crossed his arms.

“Fine. Fifty. Fifty dollars. It’s cutting into Junsu’s Christmas present, but I will give you fifty dollars.”

“Why is this so important?”

“Please, Hwannie. Just trust me as a brother and believe me when I say it is.”

“Fine. I’ll call Jonghyun and stay over at his house tonight.” He held out his hand.

Yoochun sighed and pulled out his wallet. “No drinking, okay? Mom will kill me if you get arrested this weekend and I have to tell her I bribed you out of the house.”

“We won’t.”

“Thanks. I’ll tell you all about this when I can, okay?”

“Okay. Have fun, whatever you’re planning. No drinking?”

Yoochun shook his head. “Nope. I promise.”

“Good. I’m going to go pack a bag. You want me gone tomorrow night too?”

Yoochun opened his mouth to say no, and then nodded. “Do you mind?”

“Nope. I’ve got fifty bucks.”

Yoochun went to the kitchen. He had two hours before Junsu showed up. He thought of having Jaejoong come over to cook and then decided against it. He flipped through the phone book and made a few calls to order some things. It was all going to cost him so much, but he’d been saving anyway. He’d been saving for a scooter, but Junsu was a lot more important than that.

With the cake delivered and sitting on the table, Yoochun ran upstairs for a quick shower. He dressed in nice pants, and wore a button down pale blue shirt and even put on a tie. It was striped green, to go with the night’s theme. Yoochun knew that Junsu was going to laugh at him for dressing up, but it was his day. Junsu deserved a properly dressed boyfriend.

At exactly seven Junsu opened the front door and called his name. Yoochun pulled out his lighter and lit the candles on Junsu’s cake.

“In the kitchen,” Yoochun shouted.

“Chunnie …”

Yoochun lit the last candle and then stood up. Junsu smiled at him and then strode across the kitchen and hugged him. Their lips met and only the fear of the kitchen catching on fire had Yoochun pulling away.

“Do you want me to sing to you?” Yoochun asked.

“No, but I do want my spankings.”

Yoochun laughed and lightly smacked Junsu’s ass. His hands had found their way to the curves anyway, so he barely had to move. Junsu turned around in his arms. Yoochun watched as the candle light danced with shadows over his jaw. He opened his mouth and kissed that spot below Junsu’s ear.

“Happy Birthday,” he whispered.

Junsu bent over, and Yoochun did not miss the slight slide of his ass along Yoochun’s front, and then blew out the candles. He turned back around before Yoochun could process anything else and their lips met again.

“My birthday wish is for you to eat cake off my bare stomach.”

Yoochun moaned into their next kiss, and then lost himself in the next one. Junsu’s fingers unbuttoned his shirt. Warm palms pressed against his stomach.

This was not good. So not good. Sure, they’d been messing around for the last few weeks, but nothing more than heavy kissing. Nothing below the waist. It was killing both of them, but Yoochun didn’t want to pressure Junsu, and Yoochun knew that Junsu thought he didn’t want him. Hopefully, this weekend changed that.

The door bell ring, and they broke apart, gasping. Junsu looked panicked, so Yoochun grinned and said, “It’s just dinner. Hang on.”

Junsu pouted and kissed him quickly. “I hate letting you go.”

“I hate being let go.”

Sadness flashed through Junsu’s eyes, and Yoochun hoped that by the end of the night and the things he had planned that it would never happen again. He moved by Junsu and went to the door to pay for their food. They sat on the same side of the table, legs entwined, and Yoochun fed Junsu noodles and meat from his chopsticks. They laughed and gossiped about couples at school and about YunJaeMin.

There was a lot of gossip surrounding the two of them, too. Yoochun heard more than one whisper wondering if they were dating. It was odd for Yoochun to go more than a few days without a girlfriend and now he’d gone more than a month. But he was always with Junsu. Yoochun knew they couldn’t hide it much longer. Someone was going to catch them making out in the boys restroom one of these days.

“Are you done eating?” Yoochun asked.

Junsu nodded and then leaned forward. Yoochun met him halfway there and kissed him. Slowly.

“When do I get dessert?” Junsu asked and licked Yoochun’s upper lip.

Despite the shiver that tore through Yoochun’s body, he yanked himself away. “Yah! Kim Junsu! Stop stealing my cheesy lines.”

Junsu laughed and wrapped his arms around Yoochun’s neck as they kissed again. Yoochun only let himself get lost in the feel of Junsu’s tongue on his lips for a moment and then said, “Let’s go upstairs.”

Junsu’s lips spread in a smile. “Are you going to take advantage of me?”

“No. I have to show you something.”

“Okay.”

Junsu stood up first since he’d been more or less sitting in Yoochun’s lap. He held out his hand and Yoochun took it. Their fingers entwined and then Yoochun led the way through his house, up the stairs, and to his bedroom.

“Where’s Yoohwan?” Junsu asked as Yoochun shut his bedroom door.

“I bribed him to spend the weekend at Jonghyun’s.”

“Ooh, have plans for me all weekend?”

Yoochun swallowed, nervous as he opened his desk drawer.

Junsu noticed his silence after the joke. “Chunnie?”

Yoochun pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Junsu. “Read that.”

Junsu considered Yoochun carefully before taking the paper. He cleared his throat and said, “Park Yoochun-shi, We have reviewed your school records and your tests scores and feel you would be a great asset to our university. The deadline for admission has already passed for the next term, but we would be honored if you would join us for the following semester--Yoochun, what is this?”

“Look at the signature, the title. The address.”

Junsu’s eyes scanned the paper and then he gasped and looked up quickly. Mouth open.

Yoochun smiled. “I told you. I don’t like being let go.”

“But … but … Yoochun this is for a school in Seoul.”

“I know. I don’t want to go to Busan if you’re not going to be there.”

“But … but the Busan school is so much better! You can’t do this for me.”

“I already have.” Yoochun bit his lower lip. “I … I don’t have … I can still go to Busan, but I thought … I thought you’d want me in Seoul.”

Junsu was suddenly hugging him. “Don’t be stupid, of course I want you to be in Seoul with me, but you’re …”

“I’m doing what I want, Su-ah,” Yoochun said, arms wrapping around his waist. “I love you. And I figure I can work for a little while and then go to school the next semester and we can get an apartme--”

Junsu cut him off with a desperate kiss. “And Jaejoong calls me stupid.”

Yoochun smiled against Junsu’s lips. They kissed again and Junsu moved back until he was sitting on the bed. Yoochun fell to his knees between his legs. Firm fingers gripped his cheeks. Junsu licked his lower lip. Yoochun put his arms around Junsu’s waist and tried to pull him closer, he ended up rising, pushing Junsu back until the other was lying on his back, feet still on the floor. Yoochun lay flush against his side. Junsu’s hand found the open button down, and his fingers traced along Yoochun’s ribs and around his back.

Yoochun pulled away and locked gazes with Junsu. Neither gaze gave anything away, but Yoochun could tell that Junsu was tired of waiting. Junsu smiled and then they moved, shifted up on the bed. Yoochun watched from his spot until Junsu laughed and held out his hand. Yoochun took it and crawled over Junsu, slightly shaking. He knew he couldn’t go all the way with Junsu, not yet, but damned if he wasn’t going to get an orgasm that wasn’t caused by his own hand.

“Why are you hesitating?” Junsu whispered, lips brushing again.

Yoochun held himself up, hands on either side of Junsu’s head. He resoutely kept his body off Junsu’s. He finished the kiss, trying to calm himself down. He was hard in his pants and had already looked to find Junsu straining against his jeans. Junsu slipped his hands into the open shirt again and Yoochun shrugged it off his shoulders. His tie fell between them, curling down Junsu’s neck. Yoochun moved it, back and forth, across the skin until Junsu laughed. He grabbed the knot and yanked Yoochun down to his mouth for another kiss.

Yoochun breathed deep through his nose as Junsu’s tongue seemed to touch all around his mouth at once. They broke away only long enough for Yoochun to pull the tie over his head and toss it somewhere behind him. Junsu’s hands gripped Yoochun’s shoulders for a moment and then moved over and down his back, fingertips digging into his spine. Yoochun moaned, arching up into the touches, unconsciously lowering his hips. He jerked when his erection brushed Junsu’s leg, but before he could move away, Junsu grabbed his hips and lifted his own.

“Fuck,” Yoochun said, breaking away from Junsu’s lips, as pleasure spiked through his body.

“Tonight?” Junsu said with a leer.

Yoochun swallowed and shut his eyes.

A moment later, Junsu kissed him. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

Yoochun shook his head and when he tried to move away, Junsu let him.

“You don’t want this,” Junsu said, voice defeated and sad.

Yoochun’s eyes flew open. “No, Su. God, I want this. Too much, I think, but I--”

“Come on, Chunnie. You can be honest with me. You’ve been keeping me to nothing but kisses for weeks. If you’re not okay with gay sex, then just say so.”

Yoochun frowned and then said, “I am, I promise, but … I don’t know how to explain this, Su. If you were just another notch on my bedpost then I’d have already fucked you, but you’re not. And I don’t know. I don’t want to move too fast, I don’t want to move too slow. I want to touch you and lick you and play with you and …”

“Shouldn’t both of us decide what’s too fast and what isn’t? I have done this before. Well, not sex, but practically everything else. And it’s not like you’re a virgin. Honestly, I’m starting to wonder how you’re still alive. I thought sex was a vital aspect to life for you. Sort of like water and air.”

Yoochun smiled. “It was. But now, all that gives me life is you.”

“Cheesy,” Junsu said, but still he smiled. “Now. It’s been weeks. I am fully aware that you are not only with me for my ass, so now that I know that, and now that we’ve been suffering from sexual tension for weeks, I say we get rid of it.”

Yoochun bit his lower lip. Junsu stretched his head up and kissed it, sucking it into his mouth. Yoochun moaned and when Junsu’s hand directed his body down, Yoochun went with it. They settled together, bodies rocking slightly. Junsu moaned into his mouth and his hands slid into the back of Yoochun’s pants, over his ass. Fingers clutched, Yoochun pressed down, stars danced behind his eyes as another flash of pleasure tore through him.

Yoochun held himself up with one hand. With the other, he reached for his pants and undid the clasp. Junsu practically whimpered and then pushed his hands under the fabric of Yoochun’s boxers, pushing down. With a few adjustments, Yoochun found himself naked, lying flush against a fully clothed Junsu. His skin burned with a need to feel Junsu’s skin against his. Besides his hands, which were busy running up and down his back, ass and thighs.

“Fuck, Yoochun,” Junsu said, eyes shut tightly. He moaned, head falling back as Yoochun twisted a nipple through his shirt.

Yoochun licked the corner of Junsu’s mouth. His lips fell open with a gasp, and more followed as Yoochun kissed down his jaw. He left small red marks down Junsu’s neck, teeth nipping. Junsu’s hands were suddenly between them, working frantically to unbutton his shirt as Yoochun kissed around his collarbones. He sat up enough to pull Junsu’s shirt out of his pants. Junsu’s stomach tightened, abs flexed, as he leaned up enough to force the shirt off his arms.

Yoochun moved his mouth to the newly revealed skin. He didn’t kiss or lick, but let his lips brush over it, breath leaving spots of heat on Junsu’s body, all the way down to his nipple. Yoochun scraped the nipple with his lower lip.

Junsu _moaned_ , chest arching. His hands tangled in Yoochun’s hair. Yoochun arched his body, trying to keep pressure on Junsu’s cock. He whimpered and then Junsu suddenly yanked him up and pushed him away.

“God damn you, you fucking tease,” Junsu said and almost ripped the button off his pants in his haste to get naked.

Yoochun laughed as he sat back on Junsu’s knees. Junsu lifted his ass and tried to push his clothes off, but Yoochun didn’t move. Junsu glared at him, but Yoochun wasn’t looking at his face. His gaze was trained on Junsu’s bare erection. Swallowing, Yoochun reached for it. Junsu’s breath caught at the first touch of his fingers, and then he moaned as Yoochun curled his hand around it and stroked up. It was the oddest feeling. Such hardness but such soft, soft skin. He twisted his hand on the next upstroke and Junsu’s hands grabbed Yoochun’s arms, nails digging into his skin.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Yoochun whispered.

Junsu moaned.

“Yes, now. It pertains to the current situation.”

Junsu gasped as Yoochun sped up his strokes. “What?”

“I own a dildo.”

Junsu’s eyes flew open with shock.

Yoochun laughed at the flabbergasted look. “Yeah. I do. And before you ask, yes, I’ve had it inside me.”

“Oh, god, Chunnie.” His eyes shut and Yoochun leaned forward. He continued stroking, and licked at Junsu’s nipple.

“Are you imagining it, Junsu? Are you thinking about me on my knees and fucking myself with a dildo?”

Junsu nodded, quick and forceful.

“There’s one thing that I haven’t done with that dildo yet though. Do you want to know what?”

“Sure,” Junsu said, trying for nonchalant, but his voice broke and he moaned as Yoochun lowered his mouth, licking and biting at his quivering abs.

Whispering into Junsu’s skin, he said, “I never put it in my mouth. I never licked it, or saw how deep I could push it down my throat.”

“Oh, god.”

Yoochun sucked on a patch of skin at the bend in Junsu’s hip. Junsu cried out, hands again tangling in Yoochun’s hair.

“I wanted to wait for you,” Yoochun said, “because a dildo can’t come, and a dildo can’t moan and jerk.” Yoochun licked down and sucked on Junsu’s balls for a moment, still stroking. Junsu’s knees bent. Yoochun turned his head and sucked on his inner thigh.

Junsu screamed and lifted that leg. His foot settled on Yoochun’s hip and it was like he was trying to get Yoochun to move up, suck on him, but he had no breath to ask in words. With small kisses and nips, Yoochun followed the silent command. He paused to add a matching purple mark to the other bend in Junsu’s hip.

“Fuck, Yoochun. Shit, I’m … “ Junsu broke off with a moan.

Junsu’s cock pulsed in his hand. Yoochun kept his hand on the lower half of Junsu’s cock, stroking slower, and then licked the crown. Junsu keened and his cock pulsed against Yoochun’s lips. It was soft, but hot against his tongue. He wrapped his lips around it and let his tongue curl around it, dip into the slit. He added a tiny bit of pressure and Junsu shouted his name. Junsu’s cock swelled and then jerked in his hand, and Yoochun moaned, slipping more into his mouth even as Junsu tried to yank his hips down. With another shout, Junsu’s grip tightened in his hair, his upper body curled off the bed and he came.

Yoochun choked on the first splash of come in his mouth, but he had no time to get used to it as Junsu’s orgasm followed, and he swallowed, gagging, but determined to get most of it. It was definitely different, having it warm and hot in your mouth compared to licking it off your fingers after your own orgasm. He had to pull away to breathe and cough a few times.

Junsu’s breath gasped in the silence as his body went limp. His arm lay over his eyes. His mouth was open wide. Yoochun swallowed and licked his lips, trying to clear his mouth, and then his eyes landed on the bead of come slipping from the slit of Junsu’s cock. He smiled and then leaned down and licked it up. Junsu moaned and then whimpered as Yoochun slipped the head of his cock back into his mouth. He sucked lightly, holding him up with only a thumb and forefinger around the base. He turned his hand until his other fingers could tease Junsu’s balls.

“Oh, god, Yoochun.”

Yoochun hummed in question around Junsu’s cock. He took more into his mouth, testing his limits. Junsu tugged weakly on his hair and whined.

“Stop, that’s … fuck.” His hips rose and he grabbed Yoochun’s head and yanked him up.

Yoochun smiled and then licked his lips.

“Fuck.” Junsu covered his eyes again.

Yoochun kept his hand on Junsu’s cock, slowly stroking as he kissed up Junsu’s stomach and chest. He stopped and put his ear against skin. He listened to Junsu’s heart race, thump wildly. Junsu puts his arms around Yoochun and rolled them over. Yoochun went without complaint and then Junsu kissed him. Their positions switched, and Junsu settled between Yoochun’s leg, pressing their bodies together again. The kiss sped up as Junsu thrust against him. Yoochun moaned into his mouth. The moan turned into a scream as Junsu gripped his cock and started stroking roughly.

Yoochun had to break away from his lips. He panted, eyes shut tight as Junsu stroked him. His hips lifted, trying for more speed and Junsu growled in irritation as his rhythm was thrown off. He pushed at Yoochun’s thigh, and almost without thinking, Yoochun lifted his leg and wrapped it around Junsu’s body. A needy moan left Yoochun throat as Junsu’s dick slipped under his balls, sliding over, too close, but not enough. Yoochun lifted his other leg and Junsu adjusted above him. He steadied his strokes and rocked his hips.

Yoochun cried out as Junsu’s cock pushed between his ass cheeks, along his crack, over his hole. The teasing sensation drove him mad and he thrashed his head as Junsu sucked on his neck.

“Fuck, Su.”

“Are you thinking about that dildo now?”

“God, no, Su, fuck.”

Junsu stopped stroking despite Yoochun’s whimper. He moved Yoochun’s legs off him.

“Su?”

“Can’t suck on you like that, now can I?”

“Oh, god.”

Junsu’s lips were suddenly on his again and Junsu bit down hard. Yoochun cried out and then moaned as Junsu licked at his lips. “I hate knowing so many girls have had you down their throats, but I can promise you that after this, you will never want anyone else to suck on you.”

Yoochun smiled, even through his eyes were shut. “Already there, love.”

Junsu kissed him softly. “You did pretty well, you know, but you should probably take notes.”

“Let me get a notebook,” Yoochun replied as Junsu moved down the bed.

Junsu laughed. He held Yoochun’s cock tightly, and after the first lick, Yoochun’s mind went blank from pleasure. Junsu’s lips were warm, his mouth hot. He licked around the head and then let more than half into his mouth all at once. Yoochun moaned and tried to thrust up, but Junsu’s hand wrapped around the base kept him from doing so.

“Fuck, Junsu. That feels so good.” Yoochun settled his hands on Junsu’s head, fingertips teased by his hair. He wanted to clutch and grab and thrust, but he stopped himself, eyes shut. He moaned again as Junsu took Yoochun’s cock into his mouth, lips meeting fingers. He pulled up all the way, teasing the tip again, and then swallowed him again. He lowered his grip and more pushed into his mouth. He did it again, taking more and more each time. Yoochun’s moans grew louder, and he finally gripped Junsu’s hair, losing control as Junsu deep-throated him. His knees bent, his hips thrust up, and with a ragged moan, his orgasm exploded from him. Junsu moaned, throat flexing as he swallowed Yoochun’s release.

Yoochun lay in bliss, body twitching as Junsu kissed up his skin. Their lips met in a soft kiss and Junsu settled against him, arms and legs wrapped around each other and their hearts beat to the same rhythm.

“Hm, love you, Chunnie,” Junsu said and kissed Yoochun’s shoulder.

“I love you, Su.”

Yoochun smiled, content. He helped Junsu pull the blanket over them and then he slept.

Warm lips on his neck and chest woke him up. He moaned and pulled Junsu up to his mouth for more kisses.

“What time is it?” he asked after the kiss lasted for minutes.

“After midnight,” Junsu replied.

“So now it’s your real birthday,” Yoochun said.

Junsu put his chin on Yoochun’s chest and nodded. “Yep, and you know what I want?”

“Huh?”

“Birthday cake.”

Yoochun smiled. “I seem to remember a wish for me to eat it off your body.”

Junsu laughed and rolled away. He sat up. “Yep. That’s why I want it so much. Come on.”

Yoochun sat up too and grabbed Junsu before he could stand. He hugged him tightly, and Junsu hugged him back. “I love you, Su-ah.”

“I love you, Chunnie.”

Yoochun pulled back enough to press a kiss to Junsu’s lips. “You’re the most important thing in the whole world. I hope you know that.”

“I do,” Junsu said. “You’re changing your college plans for me. I want it to be noted that I think you’re being stupid.”

Yoochun smiled. “Objection noted. Now, let’s go downstairs so I can eat your cock. I mean, your cake.”

“You’re such a sleazy bastard,” Junsu said with a laugh.

“And you’re a sleazy bitch, so we’re perfect for each other.”


	6. First Time

Junsu woke up in a strange room with strangely soft blankets and an arm around his middle. He shut his eyes against the light and tried to remember the night before. There had been weed involved, he knew that. Weed and kisses and touches and Junsu was pretty sure that he’d been kissing Changmin at one point. He shifted and looked over his shoulder. The arm around him belonged to his boyfriend, so he stopped worrying about the night before and settled into Yoochun’s warmth and went back to sleep.

He woke up again, but to kisses on his shoulder and a hand tracing the curve of his hip. Junsu moaned and pushed back against Yoochun’s erection.

“I have plans for you,” Yoochun whispered, “so get up, go use the bathroom and brush your teeth.”

“Such a sweet talker,” Junsu said, but he rolled away from Yoochun and sat up. His brain was fogged and his eyes refused to open.

“Here,” Yoochun said. A blurry roll of white entered his field of vision. Junsu laughed and took the joint. He inhaled deeply.

“Ah,” he said, blowing out a plume of smoke. “Wake and bake, nothing better.”

“There is, and I’ll show it to you, go, bathroom, now.”

Junsu turned and said, “Should I shower?”

Yoochun smiled. “Sure. I did before you woke up.”

Junsu’s gaze found a clock. It was after two in the afternoon. He recognized Yunho’s parents’ bedroom. And then he turned to Yoochun.

“Sorry about the whole kissing Changmin thing,” Junsu said.

Yoochun laughed. “Eh, it’ alright. Changmin was about to suck you off before Jaejoong and Yunho stopped him. It was funny.”

Junsu remembered and laughed with Yoochun. He leaned back only enough to press a kiss to Yoochun’s lips. “I love you.”

“I love you. Go get cleaned up.”

Junsu stood up and winced at his sore muscles. The couple of hits of weed made walking to the bathroom feel like floating.

“The faster you’re done the sooner I can suck your cock,” Yoochun called after him.

Junsu laughed and said, “Good enough reason to hurry.” He did, using Yunho’s dad’s shower things. He had no desire to use their toothbrushes though, so he dug under the sink and in a drawer until he found an unused one. By the time he had brushed his teeth, his skin was dry. He went back into the room naked.

Yoochun was laying on top of the covers, naked, but that wasn’t what made him stop in his tracks and gasp. His knees were bent, eyes shut tight. Three fingers gripped the base of a green dildo and the rest of the dildo was buried in Yoochun’s ass. They’d been getting closer, messing around and sucking each other off whenever they could for the last few weeks, but with studying for exams and Christmas, they didn’t have time to do more.

“Fuck,” Junsu said.

Yoochun opened his eyes. “Su … Su, come to bed, please. Fuck. Come and suck on me.”

Junsu staggered to the bed. He had no idea where to look first. Yoochun whimpered. Junsu reached his hand out and twisted Yoochun’s nipple.

“Fuck. Su, come on, do something.”

Junsu met his eyes and the love and trust and lust shining in Yoochun’s gaze spurred Junsu into action. He wrapped his hand around Yoochun’s cock and stroked while leaning down and sucking on his nipple. Yoochun moaned and lifted his hips. Moments later his cock pulsed in Junsu’s hand and he came, shooting strands of white up his chest.

Junsu slowed his hand and watched as the dildo slipped from Yoochun’s body. “You’re such a slut.”

Yoochun smiled around gasping breaths. “A slut for you.” He lifted the dildo and said, “Your turn?”

Junsu kissed his lips. “Yes, but not with that.” He moved his hand, stroking Yoochun again.

Yoochun’s eyes went wide, and he bit his lower lip. “You sure?”

“Yes. Please.” Junsu grinned and laid down next to Yoochun. Yoochun turned to his side and smiled at him. “I want this. I want you.”

Yoochun kissed him and let his hand travel up and down Junsu’s chest. He went lower, teasing Junsu’s ribs with fingertips, but he avoided his cock. Junsu whined when Yoochun feathered his touch down Junsu’s side and to his hips.

“I don’t want you to tease me,” Junsu said. “I want you to fuck me.”

“I know, but I want to tease you.”

Junsu smiled. “Why do I love you?”

“Um, not sure. Devilishly good looks. Cheesy pickup lines.”

Junsu laughed. “That must be it.”

Their lips met as Yoochun’s hand wrapped around Junsu’s cock. Junsu moaned into his mouth, lifting his hips.

“I can’t believe you want our first time to be in Yunho’s parents’ bedroom,” Yoochun said.

Junsu grinned. “Why not? This is where you found out you loved me.”

Yoochun looked around the room and then smiled down at Junsu. “You’re right. It’s perfect.”

They kissed again. Yoochun’s hands were all over Junsu, around his hips and his chest and shoulders. He gripped Junsu’s cock before cupping his balls and then running his hands up and down Junsu’s legs. When Yoochun finally started kissing the rest of him, Junsu’s head was spinning. He moaned, gripping Yoochun’s hair.

“Come on, just do it, Chunnie, no more playing.” Junsu threw a leg over Yoochun’s back to let him know he was serious.

Yoochun smiled up at him. He caressed around Junsu’s hip and traced the creases between leg and balls. His finger dropped lower as Junsu moaned. He lifted his other leg and held it up with a hand between his knee. Yoochun adjusted his body. He held himself up with one arm and let his finger trace over and around Junsu’s opening. Each caress brought a whimper from Junsu’s throat, and his body jerked.

“It’s going to hurt,” Yoochun whispered.

“I know. But you’ll be nice.” Junsu smiled at him; his cutest, sweetest, most angelic smile and Yoochun’s mouth opened to reply, but he shook his head.

He pressed a short kiss to Junsu’s lips. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

Yoochun reached for the lube laying on the bed. “I can use the dildo first if--”

“No,” Junsu said. “I … I want you inside me before some fake penis.”

Yoochun smiled. “Good.”

He lay next to Junsu so he could kiss him while he prepped him. Junsu threw his leg over Yoochun’s hips. After adding a generous amount of lube to his fingers, Yoochun reached around his leg and teased the curve of Junsu’s ass again.

Junsu moaned. He lifted his arm, hand tangling in Yoochun’s hair. His breath gasped as Yoochun slipped a finger over his entrance, covering it with lube. Junsu tensed up as Yoochun pushed his finger in. He moaned as Junsu’s body tightened and the muscles fought against the intrusion.

“You okay?”

“Yes, god, please. You have done this to me before.”

Yoochun smiled and kissed him as he moved his finger in and out of Junsu’s body. “Just making sure. It’s all part of that being nice thing you mentioned.”

Junsu cupped Yoochun’s cheek and deepened the kiss. Yoochun moaned and pressed his hard cock into Junsu’s hip.

“Another finger,” Junsu begged, “please, more, Yoochun. More.”

Yoochun removed his finger only long enough to add more lube. Their lips met again and Junsu moaned as two fingers pushed into him. It was too tight, too full, too much. But when Yoochun pulled his fingers out, Junsu whimpered and rotated his hips down, pushing them back inside. Yoochun sped up, spreading and stretching Junsu open while they kissed.

“Are you ready for a third, Su-ah?”

Junsu nodded frantically. “Please, please, plea--” He broke off with a cry as Yoochun added a third. Yoochun’s fingers stretched him wide, pushed deeper. Fingertips brushed over his prostate and Junsu pulled away from Yoochun’s mouth with a cry. He lifted his hips, hand on the bed. He fucked himself on Yoochun’s fingers and whimpered.

“Do you want to come?” Yoochun whispered, kissing Junsu’s neck and cheek.

The question permeated the lust around his body and he nodded again.

“Stroke yourself,” Yoochun said as he moved away from Junsu’s body.

Junsu whined, but grabbed his cock and stroked fast. Yoochun kept his fingers buried deep but didn’t move them as he re-situated himself between Junsu’s spread legs. Junsu lifted his legs and wrapped one around Yoochun’s waist. Yoochun dumped lube right onto Junsu’s clenching body and on his cock. Junsu watched through unfocused mist as Yoochun stroked himself. He spread his fingers, all three of them and Junsu’s eyes rolled back as pleasure so intense jolted through his skin. His hand flew over his cock, stroking faster, until his orgasm was right there, ready to spill over onto his body, and then the bastard removed his fingers.

“Chun-un-ieeee,” Junsu whimpered and lifted his hips as he tried to make up for the loss by stroking even faster.

Yoochun had the nerve to chuckle.

“I hate you,” Junsu said and then broke off with a cry as the unmistakable feel of Yoochun’s cock swiped over his hole. “Fuck, Yoochun.” Yoochun did it again, and then again, not pushing in, but teasing, touching.

Junsu moaned, and then practically screamed as Yoochun’s slick fingers twisted around his nipple.

“Come, Su,” Yoochun said, voice rough. “I … fuck, hurry, I …”

“Fuck me, just … I’m too close, just …” He broke off with a scream as Yoochun pushed in. Junsu’s vision went black and his body protested the intrusion, but he had been too close and he took the pain and pulled Yoochun down to his lips and kissed him while he came hard onto his stomach. He gasped as the pleasure faded to pain and his vision showed him Yoochun’s face, and he felt Yoochun’s body above him and inside him, stretching him open.

He whined and turned his head as more pain than he thought shot up his spine.

Yoochun kissed his cheek. “You’re okay, Su, I’m … fuck, you’re so tight. So fucking tight.”

“Chunnie, it … stop, it hurts.”

“I know, I know, but god, it feels so good.”

Junsu dug his fingers into Yoochun’s back as the pain increased, and Yoochun moaned, moving faster. He lost the energy to keep his legs up and they fell to the bed. Yoochun’s lips stayed against his, trying to whisper soothing words, but they meant nothing. Junsu knew it wouldn’t stop hurting until Yoochun was done. He moaned and tried not to cry even as tears dripped from his eyes. Pain-filled moments later, Yoochun shuddered and came. His body slowed to a stop and then he hastily retreated. Junsu winced, and breathed deep as Yoochun kissed his cheeks and whispered apologies at him.

“Shut up, Yoochun,” Junsu said. “Just hold me for a second.”

Yoochun frowned at him, but did as he was told, holding Junsu close. Junsu’s breath hitched, and a few stubborn tears leaked from his eyes.

“You must think I’m stupid,” Junsu said, “crying like a girl.”

“Naw, it hurts.”

Junsu lifted his chin. “How do you know?”

Yoochun smiled. “I was stupid the first time I put a dildo in me. No prep, nothing. It hurt like a bitch.”

“I’m sure this was worse.”

Yoochun smirked. “When you’re feeling better, you can show me how much it hurts.”

Junsu looked at him in confusion. What did that mean? Yoochun didn’t actually … “You don’t expect me to top?”

“Why not?”

Junsu pushed himself up to his elbows. He winced at the pain in his lower body. “You want me to top?”

“Um, need I remind you what you walked into from the bathroom? Me fucking myself with a dildo? Yes, I want you to fuck me.”

“But I’m …”

Yoochun laughed. “A bottom? Says who?”

“I … I don’t know. I just …”

“Su, look. This is your first time. Do you want all your sexual experiences to be the same as what just happened? Minus the crying of course.”

“Shut up, bastard.”

Yoochun smiled and kissed him softly. “Just tell me you’ll try it, okay. If you don’t like it, then I have no problem at all making a habit of fucking your amazing ass.”

“Sweet talker,” Junsu said with a grin. “Okay. We’ll try it.”

“Good.”

As they settled down again, Junsu thought about the experience. Yes, it hurt, god, his ass still hurt and he’d be shifting all day today, but he still wanted to do it again. He wanted to have Yoochun fuck him until he couldn’t see straight from all the pleasure.

“Chunnie?” he said.

“Huh?” Yoochun asked, breath quiet and steady.

Junsu traced a fingertip over Yoochun’s collarbones. “You planned this, didn’t you? I mean, why else would you have a dildo here?”

Yoochun smiled. “Yeah, sort of. I mean, I’ve been carrying that dildo around with me for a couple weeks, just in case the opportunity arose.”

Junsu burst out laughing. “You’ve had a dildo in your bag at school?”

“Yep.”

“Part of me wishes that you’d accidentally dumped everything onto the floor of Professor Cho’s class.”

Yoochun rolled him over and kissed him as his fingers ran down his side. “I’d rather have it inside me through Professor Cho’s class.”

“Oh, god. Do it.”

“On Monday when we go back to school?”

“Yes. I dare you.”

“Okay. I will. Until then, want to fuck me with it while I suck on your cock?”

Junsu’s eyes went wide and he was hard in a moment. “Fuck yes!”


End file.
